I'mnot... what I look like anymore, not MISTER Tanner..."I was in tears by this point, beyond caring what Detective Kaha or anyonewatching on the othe... side of the mirror thought of me. "I can't go backto being a boy again, I just can't. I wasn't sure, but now I know. Ihate the way I look and feel right now. And she set me free," I said,pointing to the photo of the real Alexis, "and she'll never know it, andI can't ever even thank her. And it's so unfaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiirrrrrrr!"The tears and. ?Come on bitch!’ Nathan snapped, ?Time for some attitude adjusting.? ?W-what, what.? Buffy panted as she was forced up and into the middle of the room. She weakly struggled as he untied her arms and pulled them over her head. Nathan tied her hands to the overhead beam and then spread her legs and wrapped rope around her ankles. He tied off the ends to the stove and bed. Buffy found herself tied with her hands and legs pulled painfully apart. She struggled as Nathan. Down the Rabbit holeI squiggled this on the top of the page because it was kind of like that. For me anyway. Everything up to now, is from memory of this last week. Tonight I am spending my first night at Findley and it is a real shocker and really different from the reality as I knew it. Helen (the lady here who did my first intake) is a shrink. In fact, she was teaching classes in Psychology at the university. Helen gave me some advise at dinner tonight, and so I am following it. She said. And the weird little pressures your body gave you... the feeling of a potbelly pushing against cotton. And a tie, guck, that's how that feels.Aw, *yowch*. No wonder you guys get crabby once a month.You've never had sex.You have... oh, my God. It *is* pretty amazing. That must be what heaven is like... feeling that way all the time.God, it's so fleeting a feeling for you! Maybe it would have been different if you had had a partner... everything is still so new to you. That's sort of sweet. I.
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