If I can, and if she'll let me.PART 4It's now been weeks since my manipulative bitch of an ex-girlfriend putme through that traumatizing ordeal, and I...have not had sex since. Iknow that I should get back on the horse and find a nice girl, but I'vebeen kind of in hibernation mode after that humiliation. And as theweeks go by, I'm finding it more and more upsetting that my last sexualmemory is of me blowing some asshole, in my first and only homosexualact, and of her then laughing at me. I. And gave my dick to suck she did as I say…..When she was in the mood, I inserted my finger, she started to cry, blood came out of her pussy, she was worried like hell, then I explained her everything about virgin and virginity and wore another condom and tried to insert it, was tight, for 1 push my half dick went in for the second half it went incomplete…. She was in pain so I told her not to move and started 2and fo motion slowly and she was enjoying it, I started licking her boobs and after. She kissed me hard and deep and said “thanks for the ride, but I'm tired now goodnight.” As she left the room I yelled at her that she forgot to untie me she just yelled back “I didn't forget anything goodnight” as she walked down the hall. I was tired, tied up, and had a very painful hard-on how was I supposed to sleep? Eventually sleep overcame me, I woke up and rubbed my eyes and realized I wasn't tied up. I wondered to myself if I had dreamed the whole thing. My question was answered. Until the next day, then I miss you once more and start crying again. Damn-it, I wanted you to be my love, the only man in my life, forever.However, deep down I know that we will never have that kind of love. I also know that part of my feelings stem from what I did not find with Bryan. I know these are rebound feelings that I am having. Although, we may thing it real love. It is not the kind of love that takes time to develop and mature. Still, I wake up in the middle of the night crying and.
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