Merry whooped and yelled like a barmaid goosed with a pool cue. Lacey moaned like a ghost in an echo chamber and I farted. That fart was an accident.�...�Whooee!” Merry laughed, “If y’all wanted us to get off, all you had to do is say so. I sure hope no chunks come out with that gas.”“Jesus! Let’s continue this conversation out in the kitchen. That was Lacey’s bad breath.”We beat feet out in the kitchen and left that damned fart in the front room. “Here ladies,” I told them and reached in and. ”It was time. Now or never, I had to go through with it. I had to have her.“Jane, can I talk to you for a second?”“Sure what’s on your mind?”With that, I pulled out the envelope containing all the proof of her affair. She asked what it was and I replied, just open it. As she looked at the papers, all the color drained from her face. She flipped through them quickly, knowing exactly what they were. Then she became enraged.“Kent, how did you get these? What did you do hack into my account!? Why. I was driving to a gay bar. All those days spent reading lesbian websites, all those hours pining for Kristen Stewart and listening to Tegan and Sara – that was all just in my head. No one in the world knew about that but me. Now reality was about to break in. Be still my heart. In the back of the cab I remember laughing to myself and repeating over and over, “Oh my god. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”I was completely sober, and here I was being driven to a bar that I had never been to, alone. Jane handed me the file after shaking hands all around, and said, "I think we know exactly where she is, but only myself and one other Deputy know right now. I didn't tell any of the others as there is a leak in the system somewhere, and I don't know where it is yet. With your help, I'd bet we could catch this lady before she can slip away again."I told her, "It'll be more than just you and me. I have my trusty assistant, Lisa Johnson, with me and also a helper in Tina. Tina loves a little.
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