“I understand sweetheart. You need the comfort. You are feeling fragile and insecure after Monday and you need to have somebody you trust close to y...u all the time or you start to panic.”I felt my jaw drop. “Exactly!”I wondered how she knew that. But I didn’t wonder too hard – Nana always knows things like that.She smiled and patted my hand again. “Have you noticed that I’m the only one here and you aren’t frightened. That must mean I am one of those people that you trust. Do you feel safe when. En thandhu aval udadu mel pattu pattu aval mulaigalukku idaiyil kaanamal ponadhu. Aval malaigalai piruthu, en thandai aval vaiyil soruginen. Aval kamatheeyil athai sappi sappi urinjinaal. Aval vaayil en perutha thandu, thondai varai sendrathu. Aval sappiya vegathuku eddu koduka mudiyaamal naan thudithen. Ennal thanga mudiyamal vindu anaithaiyum aval vayil paichinen.Pinnar – avali katti piduthu aval koodiyil viralai vittu aval parupai nimindinen. Aval munagalgal enn thandai seekirame uyir pera. Relationship? There was nothing there. Nothing to base anything on. I didn't even know why she was doing this to me. Was she teasing me? I thought back to the conversation with her mum, Marie. Why would she mention me to her mum if I wasn't somehow significant? It was odd and unquantifiable.Amber was the best thing in my life. I was getting to the point where the idea of a weekend was unbearable. Two days where I wouldn't see her? I was obsessed. It was getting unhealthy, I knew that. At best,. I was too scared to put it on my bed in case I wasfound out.I was secretly becoming more of a girl since I started this explorationtwo years earlier. Ever since that first day I would make a fuss wheneverI got my hair cut so it was left a little longer every time. No one evenrealized how feminine I was becoming but I sure did and I loved it.13 I need new pantiesIt was time I got new panties since mine were almost two years old andgetting really tight. So I had to get more panties but I could.
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