I know, you wouldn’t think bees were Langston Hughes fans but it turns out they have excellent taste.Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and Melis...a leaned over to steal a kiss from me. “Hey, babe.”“Hey,” she said.I looked behind me and Lavi was there too but probably about fifteen feet further back. She was not as comfortable around the bees as Melissa was. Melissa spent as much time with them as I did now. Where it had taken me weeks to get them used to me and was something I needed to keep. Sometimes I think you are simply repeating yourself with me. Why?”This was it. I was shaking. I knew I had to go through with it or I could never look my mates in the eye again. Or my daughter. Or our son. I would never again know that intense feeling of love when the three of us were together.“What are the conditions under which a person can be institutionalized?” I whispered. That was what I was truly afraid of. I would tell her and they would lock me away. I would never see my daughter or my. The ‘bad stuff’ was years and years before - back in Ohio, and when I first came to Chicago. I still owed them a favor, and I was sure that at some point, they were going to collect. But that wouldn’t happen until they found the mole, or they were sure that it wasn’t me.“Just be smart, Steve.”“Trust me, I am.”December 24, 1990, Chicago, Illinois“I am SO glad you don’t have to work today or tomorrow!” I said to Jessica when we woke on Christmas Eve morning.“And I’m glad you’re taking today off!”. He told her of his physical longing for her but that did him no good at all and he dropped the subject. He looked at his watch again: still two hours to go. How did Steven fill the time? The poor devil was coming back for another stint. At least his first one had been shorter. He might find his next one dragged though.He started telling her stories about his time at school. He quite enjoyed recalling half forgotten memories. He got up, letting go of her hand, and paced round the room still.
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